Spring break is over. The kids go back to KD and school tomorrow. The apartment is almost completely packed and a big portion of the cleaning is done. There is some cleaning that I cannot do until I get all of the stuff out of here. The girls’ room is empty and cleaned, just needs new blinds. The boys’ room is empty, except for their beds and needs to have a final clean. The half bath is empty, clean, and locked so no one can mess it up. I wiped the hallway walls and most of the living room walls today. Nail holes should all be full now, except the couple I cannot reach because there are boxes in the way. The kids are excited that tonight is their last night here. The next time they are with me, we will be in the new place. I am excited because I will have a washer and dryer in my unit and can do laundry whenever it needs to be done.
Alex has the girls tomorrow because GM has something else going on so I will be here instead of with him. They came over on Friday so that he could help me with a couple of things that I was having issues with taking apart. While they were here, he told me that A1 wasn’t sure if she wanted me to come over or not on Monday. Then he asked her on Saturday if she had figured it out yet and she said she was still thinking. I thought about it quite a bit last night and this morning, I told him not to worry about it. I don’t want to feel like I am pushing myself on her anymore. I can’t. It hurts too much to be there and constantly get the cold shoulder from her. I love those girls. I love Alex. I am afraid I will never be enough for them. I haven’t heard from him much today. I asked him what was wrong this afternoon because he was answering all my texts with short answers. He didn’t answer that. I told him that I knew something was bothering him, other than just being tired. Still no answer. This evening, I asked him if he was ready to talk to me, but he did not respond. So, I guess I will leave him alone. He knows I am here. He knows I love him. He will talk to me when he is ready I guess.
This week was not near as bad as it could have been. My kids did drive me a little insane, but there were some really good times also. We went different parks for lunches, they helped some here, they played outside, they slept in at least one day, we spent time with my grandma, we spent time with Alex and the girls, we attempted a surprise party for my mom’s 50th birthday party, and they made it to Taekwondo once. We had some goofy times. Over all, the week was actually pretty good. They even volunteered to help when I was cleaning. Very few complaints when I asked for help even. Oh, and an agreed order to allow me to move the kids (yes, we accomplished something outside of court!)
I start my new job in the morning. I am excited for the new challenge, but nervous about the change. It is similar to what I have been doing, but not exactly the same so wish me luck. I guess, I should probably wrap this up and attempt sleep. #4 has been sleeping with me for a few days and #1’s mattress has been on my bedroom floor for about three days. Can you guess how much sleep this mommy has gotten??
Mom in Reality 