God, Its Me Again…

Sometimes, I wonder if God is even there. I have been raised to believe that he is, but then I wonder why I feel so alone. It seems that so many things I ask for, I get the opposite of.

“God Please help my husband’s back and shoulder to heal.” Instead, it has gotten worse and no one can or will do anything about it.

“God, Please don’t let me lose my house.” Well, the bank won’t take a partial payment. That’s about $5000 more than I have.

“God, Please let my marriage work out.” Pretty sure this prayer is failing too. Today, I told my husband I don’t want to have sex with him because I don’t even like him half the time.

“God, Please help business pick up for us.” Today, we lost our biggest property. And it has done nothing but rain most of the week.

Is God even there? I am beginning to understand why people become Atheists. No expectations, no pain. I am a big doubter. Why shouldn’t I be? Every time my life begins to look up, I get crapped on. Not just a little bit either.

I just don’t know how to handle it anymore. The one thing that used to save me was to pray. Why should I pray? No one is listening anyways.

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Bedtime Prayer

Dear God,

Thank you for the blessings I have. I know I do not thank you enough. Usually, I am too busy complaining. However, it is in these stressful times I need to remember the blessings I do have. My children are healthy. My husband loves me. I am blessed with a great family (by birth and by marriage). I am healthy.

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I am trying my hardest to make it through this difficult time and I know you are here with me. I am sorry that I forget sometimes.

We are your faithful servants and know your will be done. Just please help us and keep us safe through the difficult times ahead.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen

You can pick your nose…

Sometimes, we are born with great families.

Sometimes, we are raised by great families.

Sometimes, we marry into great families.

Sometimes, we are blessed to have great friends that become our family.

When we were in school, we convinced everyone we were sisters. We have definitely had our rough spots. But we always know the other one is there somewhere. I thank God for all he has given me in you.

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I should be…

I should be sleeping. I caught rhe virus #4 has, but so did Hubby. That means, it doesn’t matter how I feel.

I should be doing laundry, but I don’t want to.

I should be doing homework, but I’m not.

I should have some fun family activity planned for tomorrow, but I don’t know how everyone will be feeling.

I should have Easter gifts for Sunday, but I don’t think they should get gifts because Easter is not about them. Easter is about Jesus raising from the dead, just like he promised.

I should have a genius idea for Easter brunch, but I ordered the ham.

The “I shoulds” will kill us if we let them. Sometimes, we need to forget about what we think we “should” be doing and enjoy life. When was the last time you saw a headstone that said “He never had and ‘shoulds’ because he always did.” They usually say “Loving___________” Fill in the blank with a relationship. We tend to forget about the things that really matter. Our relationships.

Tonight, we watched the ACM Girl’s Night Out special. It was nice to hear some of those songs. More importantly, it created conversation with my husband. I love that man. I may not always like him, but I know he will always be there for me. No matter what.

This afternoon, #1 leaned on my shoulder just because she loves me. I know it won’t be long before she is grown up and out of the house. I need to enjoy her more. I need to enjoy them all more.

Sometimes I am so worried about the things I think are important that I forget the things (and people) that ARE important.

Jesus died on the cross for our sins. He rose from the dead because He loved us before we even existed. If only we could take the time to show our own family and friends that same type of sacrificial love.

Happy Easter!!