I am starting to wonder if coming back to school was a good idea, or if I should have waited until the kids were older, like moved out. I am so freaking overwhelmed with all of this. The one class that I was pretty sure I understood is giving me the most problems. Yes, that means I should be working on my school work instead of typing this, but in order to work on my school work, I need to relax and calm down.
I need to make myself sit down and study more. I am hoping that now that the kids (most of them) are out of school, it will mellow out. This week has been chaotic. Kindergarten graduation, school BBQ, fifth grade program, school, meeting with a principal, and all the regular stuff. Next week, I get to add court and my grandmother into the mix. Oh goody. Part of me hopes he shows up so that I know he gives a shit, but part of me hopes he does not so that it can be done.
Take a deep breath and relax. Alex and I are going out to dinner tonight for our weekly date night/my birthday. I can’t wait. Tomorrow, we have a BBQ with my class, and Sunday a BBQ with friends.
Well, I guess my Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress paper is calling me to work on it.
Shocking, KD did not show up for the hearing. We were scheduled second up at 1:30. He called the courtroom at 1:25 and the clerk told him to call back at 2:00. 2:25 rolled around and he hadn’t called. The commissioner was going to continue it for a week and sanction him for $200. I argued with her that the commissioner that morning had already ruled it in default. Finally, the commissioner told her clerk to take me up to our regular commissioner. Our commissioner looked at me and asked if KD ever showed up. I said no. He looked at the note from the other commissioner and signed all 4 of my orders.
Patience really does pay off.
I picked up the kids from school and the bus. KD was at the bus and #2 wanted something from him. I went over to ask him for it and he told me that I needed to go away. So I told #2 that Dad said no. They were a little mad at first, but it didn’t last long. The weekend was better than I expected. Alex and I went on a dinner date with some friends Saturday night.
They are going to be mad when we discuss school next year. I spent all day today giving copies of the orders to places that needed them and getting the kids registered for school for next year.
I won’t change school on them until school starts next year, that would be too much.
Just when I think that he is finally going to be held accountable for his actions, I am proven wrong. Woke up from a nap yesterday to a voicemail from an attorney letting me know that they may be representing KD and would be asking for a continuance. I called the lady back and to told her that on April 3, the commissioner who signed the continuance that day also put that there would be no further continuances. I show up today and the attorney tells me that he is not representing KD at this point and he told KD that he needed to show up for docket call. The commissioner calls our case and the attorney states that he is not representing KD, but KD had told him that he was on his way. The commissioner waited to recall the case until the end of the docket and KD had still not appeared. The commissioner told me to get our file and take my orders to be signed in default. I got to the courtroom and KD had called. The commissioner in that room refused to find him in default even though another commissioner already had.
Then KD kept trying to get a continuance. Fortunately, this was the same commissioner that had ordered no more continuances.
We are second motion at 1:30 in front of a commissioner that isn’t ours. I sat in on a couple of hearings in her courtroom this morning to get a feel for her and she seems reasonable. KD has not filed any response to any of my documents so he really has no argument.
I should still win, but it is the principle now. I am tired of him being rewarded for being lazy. The court has continuously shown him that he can do what ever he wants and they don’t care. They wonder why we keep ending up in court?
I may end up with the kids starting tonight after school if the commissioner signs all of my orders. I am not asking for much. Just primary custody, sole decision-making, kids registered for school from my house, him not driving the kids, written authorization to verify his liability insurance once he gets his license and insurance back, and whoever is living in the home be required to undergo a background check before the kids can go over there.
He continuously shows that he cannot/will not assist me in making decisions for our children. Their counselor is stopping private practice so I told him that we need to discuss the next step in counseling for the kids, his response (26 hours later) was that we could discuss it with his new attorney. Yeah, the same one that hasn’t received any money and isn’t officially representing him as of this morning. I will appeal the decision if they don’t give me what I am asking for. He cannot be rewarded for his continued disrespect for the courts and their orders.
I just feel really overwhelmed right now. I took one of my anxiety pills about an hour before docket call, but at this point, it isn’t helping. I am exhauseted. I am frustrated. I am pissed.
On the bright side, I am meeting various attorneys in our area while hanging out at the courthouse.
Sitting at the court house waiting. That feels like the story of my life lately. Waiting….for what? Everything. Answers, solutions, a miracle… I’m tired of waiting.
KD is harassing me for the court-ordered utility payment. Yes, it was ordered in April. I repeatedly asked for copies of the bills. I finally got the copies in December. Since then, it just hasn’t been a priority. I’ve been too busy trying to support four kids while paying child support. I will admit, money management has not been my strong suit. I need to find a system and stick to it.
Between KD, my rent, and gas, I need to come up with $300 before 3:00 PM today. Just need to borrow it until next week. Talked to my step-mom, no promises, but she will try. Fingers crossed. That would get everyone off my back. Register and pay for school for fall quarter and then ask Alex to hold my school card for me. Then, work my rear off. If KD would start having his kids during his time, I could work. I did the math, in the average two week period, I have them 289 hours to his 114 hours. Oh, but he still has 7/14 overnights and that is what our state looks at. Really?? You’re kidding me! He sits on his ass, collects child support, cash assistance, and food stamps while I struggle to make ends meet every month. He doesn’t even care about those kids. If he did, he would ask about #1. He would want to see if we could figure out what is going on with #2. He would give #1 her freaking Hippo.
I just want what’s best for everyone. I really do want him to have a relationship with his kids. I want them to respect him. I can’t force that though. He has to make the effort. He has to show that he cares.
Today’s hearing is to get a Guardian ad Litem. The statutes state that one has to be appointed when abuse is alleged. So, I’m not worried about it. I am worried that the commissioner will revisit KD’s contact with #1, even though there is no formal motion. He already has Charles freaked out about talking what is he going to do to her?
That could have been worse. The commissioner gave me
No change in child support.
He has to pick them up at my house at the beginning of his week.
I pick them up at 11:15 on my extra day.
As far as property, I am supposed to do a walk through of the house and document with photos what I am claiming as mine and present it as a list to KD and his attorney.
The commissioner basically told me to grow up and get over it. The property was not an issue for temporary orders. I don’t want community property. I want my property. I want my Mother’s wedding ring. I really don’t think it is all that much to ask for. This is getting dumb. I just feel so alone. I don’t know how much more of this I can handle before I lose my mind, my job, and/or my kids.
I just wish there was someone I felt liked could go to without overwhelming them.
I feel so alone right now. I screwed this up. I did not realize I was supposed to file a new financial declaration and child support worksheet. Instead of objecting two weeks ago when he asked for a continuance, he is objecting now.
I can’t afford an attorney. I don’t have the family financial backing like KD does. I can’t lose my kids. I just can’t. I am so scared. I feel like I am losing my mind right now. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know who to talk to. I am so scared.
Please help me. I am doing my best and trying to do right by my kids. Please help me. Don’t take my kids from me.