Maybe its time to quit…


I am starting to think God himself is telling me that I never should have started Law School. Frist was Alex’s accident. Then KD, #1’s crud, Grandma passing on Father’s day, and now this. We found out last night that #2 has been playing “show me yours and I’ll show you mine” with A1 and A2; he also told A2 that if she wanted the remote she had to pull down her pants and sit on his hand. I found out that he has touched #4. GM told Alex she is keeping the girls full time for a while. I don’t know how long Alex will handle that before he tells me to take my kids and go away. I called the police on #2, but was told its normal and they had no suggestions. I put a message into his counselor. I don’t honestly know what to do next. I feel like my whole world is falling apart. I can’t go to school because I am afraid to leave #4 at home without an adult. I know that #1 will keep her safe now that she knows, but I don’t expect #2 to listen. I am scared. I am lost. I know exactly how Erik feels, only mine is worse because it is my son doing this to my girls. Of course #2 denies it, swears that he wasn’t the one playing. That it was #3, A1, and A2. #3 says he didn’t, A1 and A2 said #3 didn’t.

I am completely lost. Just when I think that things in my life can’t possibly get any worse, they do. I am tired. I didn’t sleep worth beans last night. I haven’t eaten and am not hungry. I just don’t know what to do anymore. If #2 won’t admit it, no one can help him. Not only am I worried about the girls, but I am worried about what has happened to my son that he thinks this is okay.

I don’t know what to do. I feel so alone right now. #2 is downstairs in his room throwing a major fit swearing he didn’t do this. At this point, I cannot believe him. I am scared.

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