Because sometimes that is about all you can say. Some days are just OMG WTF days. Sometimes, you have an OMG WTF week. Sometimes you wonder how many times you recently you have thought OMG WTF. I can honestly say that has been a common thought on my mind lately. I almost didn’t post tonight, but I needed to get it out of my system so I can try to sleep tonight.
I cannot say that it is about any one thing in particular either, unfortunately.
First there is KD. About a week and a half ago, I received a letter in the mail from the department of licensing telling me that my license was going to be suspended because I was the registered owner of a vehicle that was in an accident that was not insured. The letter gave me a date of August 4, 2014. Well, I knew I had not been in an accident during that time, so I was pretty sure it was KD. After much research, I was able to find out that he has not had valid insurance since June 18, 2014, and his license is currently suspended. I find this interesting for a couple of reasons. First, KD was the one that requested the clause that the children only be transported by a licensed and insured driver. Second, he provided me with an insurance card on July 17 that was supposedly valid. Combine that with the fact that he has yet to provide proof of completion of the anger management class (originally ordered in February 2014) or the parenting class ordered in our June 2014 parenting plan. I have been sitting on the classes because the last time we were in the commissioner’s court, he told us that we needed to start giving each other the benefit of the doubt. So, I was trying. This license and insurance thing was my last straw. I filed two separate contempt motions and had him served. We go to court on April 3. With my motion I filed a copy of the cancellation his insurance provided me, a copy of the collision report showing that he had #2 in the vehicle at the time of the accident, and a print out from the department of licensing that showed his license is suspended. Like that’s not enough…..
When I picked up the kids after school on Monday, they told me that they had moved out of KD’s mom’s house. They have moved in with one of KD’s friends instead. So, there are 6 people in a two-bedroom apartment. This friend of his is 27. What type of 27 year old single guy with no kids wants a guy and his four children to move in with him? I worry about #1, who does not look 13. #2 and #3 are sharing a futon in the living room. At least #1 and #4 have a bedroom, but what type of privacy do they really have? The catch is that in Washington, the primary parent (we are both considered primary) has to notify the other parent of any move. If the new residence is in a different school district, there has to be 60 days prior to moving so that the other parent has the ability to file an objection. Guess what?? His new residence is in a different school district AND he has not told me at all. The only reason I know is because the kids told me and so did their counselor. The counselor is going to write a statement as to what the children have told her about the move. I just don’t understand how he can be so stupid sometimes. I did send an email to his mother telling her that I know we don’t get along, but I am worried about the choices her son is making in regards to our children. I am hoping that she decides to help me out. I’m not holding my breath, but…. Oh wait….her response just came in. She told me that she is concerned about my behavior. I told her that I have done my best to correct my problems and be a better parent. there was obviously more, but that was the gist.
Then there is Alex. I love him so much. He has been having a great deal of cognitive difficulties since the accident. At first we thought they were just because of his medications. However, when he come off the majority of the medications, it has not gotten any better and that frustrates him. We went to a neurologist today who suggested that he talk to someone else. His back has been bothering him more again. I think it is because he has been overdoing it at work. He is so stubborn and does not want everyone else to have to pull his weight, but he needs to remember that these people care about him and understand that his body is still healing. I just feel like he is shutting me out. He is trying to crawl into a hole. I am trying so hard to keep him out of it, but its hard. I keep trying to reassure him that I am here and I am not going anywhere. That no matter what happens he does not have to face it alone, we are a team.
I just feel so alone right now. He is here physically, but I feel like he is so far away. I miss him. I am so scared that I am going to lose him. I feel like I am failing him. He tells me how I brought him out of his hole three years ago. I can’t seem to keep him out of this one, I am failing him, failing our family.