Woke up yesterday with a migraine. Got it to go away, but it came back this morning when I woke up. It didn’t help any that Alex and the kids were all in moods. #1 go up before everyone, but just sat on the couch because she didn’t want to wake anyone up. Then when I got up I asked he to make the sandwiches for their lunches. She did that and headed for the shower. I asked that she wake up #4 and have her get dressed when she got out of the shower. She said ok and Alex thought she had an attitude.
Then #4 didn’t want to wear the outfit that was set out for her so she was bothering her sister. #1 didn’t get her stuff finished because she was spending the time dealing with her sister. Then she forgot to clean up her side of the room and didn’t flush her tampon and bloody toilet paper down the toilet. She had an attitude because I wouldn’t let her wear her high heels to school because she is going to her father’s and I have no desire to fight with him over her freaking shoes.
Then there was the boys who left a blanket on the floor downstairs, left the lid off the outside toys yesterday, and didn’t finish rinsing out the sink after breakfast. So, after having him in a mood all weekend because the kids started to get moody as the weekend went by, he was still in one this morning.
He cannot battle everything. I know that my kids are not perfect. I know that they have things that they need to work on and I know that I have things as a parent to work on. I just hope that it doesn’t come between us again. My kids are my number one priority, just as the girls are his. I just get scared when he gets like that. I know that he loves me, but sometimes I wonder if he will decide again that I am not worth all that comes with me.
I didn’t get much of my school stuff done this weekend, but I don’t have to meet KD everyday so that will give me a little more time this week to work on it. I need to get a routine going.
I am tired. I am frustrated. I am feeling overwhelmed. Speaking of overwhelmed, it is time to go meet KD and give him #1 so he can take her to school.