Struggles come in all shapes and sizes


I am surviving law school, but I am only taking one class. I need to get into a consistent routine. It might help if this Professor would actually give us the schedule ahead of time. She waits until we have finished the one she gave us and then posts a new one. Some of the cases, I read and wonder what people are thinking when they commit some of these crimes. The current chapter is on Homicide. There was one case about a couple that let their 17 month old son die from an abscessed tooth. How do you not smell that when the stench should be present for 10 days before death?

Outside of school, this last week was a rough one. Alex got really frustrated with the kids and instead of freaking out on them, he shut down. I feel so helpless when he gets like that, but I am not walking away. I am here. I am in this. I love him. He just seemed so far away, even when he was right beside me. It kinda put us both in our own little worlds. I hated it. I know it frustrates him to. I just wish I knew what we could do about it.

I get frustrated too. I am still afraid to say something for fear of pushing him away. I know my kids are not perfect, but some of the things he says just pisses me off.  All eight of us have things to work on. We agreed not to go to counseling because we have actually been talking to each other and because he doesn’t want to dredge things up, but I am afraid we are going to start “stuffing” again. I don’t want to cause more fights and I don’t want things to get more difficult. We are supposed to start a parenting class together on Sunday. We are doing the Love and Logic series (required by my parenting plan).

#1 and A1 created a list of why they think that #1 needs her own cell phone. I told #1 that I would think about it if she shows an increase in responsibility, respectfulness, integrity, doesn’t get kicked out of school, and keeps her grades up.

#2 and #3 have their beds at the house now. Alex and I put carpet in for them last weekend and got their beds set up before they came home last Sunday. They were excited. So, #1 is sharing a room with A1, the boys have their own room, A2 has her own room, and #4 has been sleeping in a her own “room.” We just need to get her a bed set up. We are thinking that she is small enough that she can sleep in a toddler bed. Eventually, she will have her own room, but we bought air conditioners instead of carpet for her to have a real room. She enjoys the one she has though because she is upstairs with the big girls.

Since we are sitting at Alex’s mom’s house, and I am supposed to be working on studying, I should probably wrap this up. I just wanted to touch base with you all and let you know that I have to dropped off the face of the earth. I have just been busy. When we do not have kids, I am studying or spending time with Alex. For instance, he has today and tomorrow off from work. Tonight, we are having date night and tomorrow we are going on a motorcycle ride. I can’t wait to spend the extra time with him.

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