Well, I know many of you are wondering how court went yesterday.
It sucked. Prior to the hearing, the GAL told both attorneys that she wanted to talk to them. She quickly went over her opinion of this hearing and what her final recommendation would be, barring any major statements from the counselor on Monday. After this chat, Pat pulled me into the empty courtroom to tell me. The GAL is recommending that we resume a 50/50 schedule with no supervision. She spoke with at least the three older kids on Wednesday and all three of them told her that they did not want Grandma (KD’s mom) there all the time and that none of them are afraid of him. Of course they aren’t afraid of him, their time has been supervised for almost a year and the last incident was almost a year ago. I lost it. Basically, what these people are telling me and my kids is that I cannot protect them. We decided to continue the hearing for two weeks in order for me to digest what the GAL had to say. However, the only way that the other side would agree to a continuance was for us to drop supervision pending the next hearing. That means that KD is now with the kids unsupervised.
I was directly asked by a friend how I feel about all of this information. I had to stop and think for a minute. On one hand, I am outraged, angry, and scared. I am outraged that once again, KD can do whatever he wants to and get away with it. I am angry that the history and the CPS findings mean nothing. I am scared about what will happen next, or if my kids will even be willing to come forward when something happens. On the other hand, I am happy to have my weeks back with Alex.
I am going to fight this through trial. I am not going to give up this time. It will have to be a judge’s decision that we stick with 50/50. That way, when something does happen again, I will be able to say that I did everything I could to protect these kids.