Alex told the girls today. A1 told me. She asked me why. With a crack in my voice I told her it just wasn’t a good time for us. “Is it because of your kids?” I told her that was part of it, part was KD, and part was how far apart we live.
Told my kids that we are just friends. #4 looked at me, “You broke up?” I told her yes. In a confused tone she asked why. I told her that it just wasn’t our time.
I hate KD. I hate that he can still ruin my life so easily. I just wish he was dead. There. I said it. You can disapprove all you want, but I know the kids would be better off. I know I would be. I hate that I feel that way about him.
I swear if one more person tells me that I need to focus on me and what I need I am going to scream. Yes it hurts to be physically close to Alex, but still so far away. Yes, I could just walk away. I’m not going to. I love those three enough that the pain is worth it, worth being able to be around them, to see them.