I write this as I walk to work. It’s not even 8:30 in the morning and boy has it been a long day already. I got up and took the early bus so I could drop Alex’s Christmas present off.
I made him a book of why I love him. I wrote him letters and put them into handmade envelopes. One to open right away, one for when he feels alone, one for when he needs a smile, one for when he needs an idea for date night (even if it’s not with me, and one for when he feels like he’s starting to forget. The whole book was hand made.
As hard as it was to make, to write those letters, I was still able to smile about the good times.
It was hard to walk by him without touching him, but I did it. I’m done trying to convince him that we can get through it all together. There is not a single thing I could say or do that could convince him right now. He hugged me before I left. It was a long hug. He kept trying to make me smile, no matter how much I didn’t want to, he still got a smile out of me. He asked me to look at him, I tried, but I could feel the tears and I wanted to be strong for him.
At work now. Going to immerse myself in work and crocheting.
Mom in Reality 