I don’t want to bother him, but I want so much to know he’s still there. Deep down, I know he is. That is just who he is. He does what he can for those he cares about, one of the things I fell in love with. Sometimes, I just want to see a text or an email to let me know he’s thinking about me just like I’m thinking about him. The problem is, I’m not supposed to want that anymore. He’s not mine. I know he’s my friend and that’s better than nothing.
I never finished his Christmas present, but now it just doesn’t seem like an appropriate gift for a friend. There I go, drawing lines for how I think this might look. I don’t know how it should look. I know I’m scared. I know parts of me feel numb. I can’t even read to escape.
Almost to work and then I can be distracted for a few hours (probably not, he’s always on my mind. No matter what happens, he will always be a part of me. He has a forever place in my heart.