It’s Monday

I don’t want to take it off. Taking it off means it’s really over. I am not ready to do that yet. I know I need to. I need to let go so he can move on, so they can move on.

Alex told me last night that he can’t do it anymore. Thursday was too much for him. If I had a car, I probably would have gone home then.

I can’t say I blame him. I can try to get mad about it, but what’s the use? I can’t change anything. Divorcing KD almost gave him more power. I will get out from under him. I will do it.

Picked the kids up via bus this morning. Grandma called on Friday and told me I can’t drive her car anymore because her insurance won’t cover me. This call came within an hour of the first time this weekend that Alex told me he couldn’t do it anymore. After the call from Grandma, I lost it.

I am so tired of fighting so hard and falling farther into the hole. I feel like I can’t even be excited about things because I’m so afraid something will go wrong anyways.

Well, almost to work.