That is what I want to scream at every aspect of my life. I feel like I have lost total control of my life. My children are completely out of control. #2 is back to being a pain almost all the time. #1 and #2 are disrespectful. #3 is a whiner. #4 copies her siblings. This morning has been full of screaming, yelling, and fighting. My tablet is missing. I am so sick and tired of my stuff disappearing. These kids are ungrateful brats who think that everything should be handed to them. No one wants to be around them. I don’t even want to be around them most of the time.
My love life is a mess. My boyfriend and his children don’t want to be around my kids. I’m not even sure they want to be around me anymore. I tell him to talk to me and he tells me he doesn’t know what to say. I tell him to say whatever is on his mind, but he stays silent. Now what?
I can’t provide for my children. I can’t even afford to do laundry. I have no cash and can’t afford to drive to Alex’s to do laundry while he’s gone today. I am sure I could go to Grandma’s, but I am not sure I can mentally handle being there that long. I don’t know what to do about anything anymore.
In reality, I won’t quit. I’ll keep trying. I’m stubborn. None of it stops me from dreaming though.