I know that I complain about how much of a pain #1 is, but I have to say that I am proud of her. She made Honor Roll for first quarter. She enjoys volunteering. She enjoys helping people. As soon as she can control her anger and emotions, she is going to be an amazing woman.
Tonight, I was watching a movie with the boys and #4 (#1 is on a mini mission trip with her youth group) when #4 brings a paper and tells me to look at what she drew. I looked up and saw this:
I have to admit. I almost cried. I am so proud of her. She wrote “mom.” Yes, I know it is upside down, but it is the first time she has done this. It was even unprompted.
The first person that I wanted to share this moment with was Alex. I texted him this picture and a little text that had a large amount of exclamation points and he responded with “Good job.” He is letting go. I feel like the only one that was happy to see me today was A2. It breaks my heart to see him so unhappy.
I went over to see Alex this afternoon. He sat next to me on the couch and I cuddled up to him so I could be close to him. I learned something today. My bare skin on his still gives me goosebumps. All I did was put my hand on his cheek. I still love him. I still desire him. He is attractive to me in so many ways. Above all, I want the three of them to be happy.