Thought of you today

I know you want space, need space. You told me that two weeks ago, but I haven’t done a good job of giving it to you. I am sorry for that. You deserve so much more than me and my mess and you’ll never find it if I keep standing in your way. I feel like I’ve held you back from finding what you deserve.

I thought of you when I woke up in the middle of the night. I thought of you when I woke up this morning. None of that is anything new. I always think of you. I look at my phone first thing when I wake up and last thing before I go to sleep and a million times in between.

I feel like I’ve lost my best friend. I know you love me, you still show me in little ways. I know I’m not a booty call, but I don’t want to turn into one either. I know I can tell you no anytime, but I want it too. I don’t write these to make you feel guilty, please know that. I write these to get it all out so I’m not holding it all in.

I miss you and I wonder if you miss me as much or if you’re getting used to the distance and enjoying your space. I haven’t even asked if this week was better with the girls without me being an extra stressor. I guess I’m not good at this friend thing.



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