Moving ahead


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Typically, I title my posts after I finish writing them because I am so into writing that I don’t think about the title. However, tonight I chose a title based on how I feel right now. I feel like I am finally moving forward and making progress.

Today started out pretty shitty. For that matter, last night ended pretty bad too. Alex is still in his mood and is fighting with GM again. That always makes it worse for him and I. I took some melatonin and went to bed at 8:00 last night. For the first time in awhile, I actually felt like I slept. I know I woke up some thinking about Alex, but I felt like I had slept.

Took #1 to the daycare and headed to work. Had to stop by Alex’s so I could print my pay stubs for energy assistance. By the time I got to work, I was late, but I was happy I was there. Then my phone rang. It was the daycare. The school bus left the stop early and #1 missed the bus. Really?!? So, I went in, told my supervisor what was going on and she said to go and not worry. Picked up #1 and took her to school. I could have gone back to work, but I knew I didn’t have the gas to get there and back. Figured I would be lucky to get there.

When I picked #1 up from the daycare, #4 was there. I texted KD and told him I would be picking her up for a bit. We took a two hour nap, ate lunch, and headed out. Then I ran out of gas on my way to take some movies to the pawn shop. I called my stepdad and he brought me gas. Took #4 to daycare and went to my appointment with Pat.

Pat said they will be representing me!! Finally, some help. Talked with the social worker today. She said they are going to hold off on the dependency petition to see what I can accomplish. Tomorrow, I meet with a different advocate and fill out the DV protection order so maybe I can go that route.

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Then, there is Alex. I am not sure where we stand. I know he gets like this and I know that we have gotten past it. I just don’t know if I’ll get him back this time.

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Was this his way of breaking up with me? I hope not. I’ll just give him his space. He knows in here, but I’m not going to force my way in. It’s not fair to any of it.

Guess I should get some sleep now.

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