Never Enough


I can’t protect my kids. I can’t support my kids. I couldn’t make my marriage work. I can’t find a decent job. I can’t make real friends. I can’t keep the greatest guy I’ve ever met. I can’t do much of anything right.

I have realized that there really is a great deal of negatives in my life. I have no friends. KD was right. Who the hell is going to want to put up with a low income, single mom of four? Especially when I have the added stress of a dick for an ex?

If Alex is so certain it’s not going to work with us, why can’t he just say so? Am I just fooling myself by hoping he will change his mind? Or is it possible? Am I crazy for wanting something that he says will never happen? I love him and I feel like I’ve already lost him.

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5 thoughts on “Never Enough

  1. I feel you – this is where I was this time last year.
    I know it sounds corny but, give it time and let yourself feel hurt. Eventually it’s all going to make sense and you’re going to come out on top.
    It’s been a year since I 100% called it quits with my ex – the one who’d been there and helped me raise my little guy from the beginning – and only now am I starting to feel like I’m healing.

    Let yourself grieve and then set some goals for yourself that will make you happy.

    🙂

    (If only I could take my own advice, without excuses, right? lol)

    When people look at you, they don’t think “low income, mom of four.” They see you as an individual. Let them see how well you treat yourself and how good you can feel.

    Your income and marital status aren’t defining factors for your happiness – it’s something that comes from within.

    If Alex is certain that things aren’t going to work out for you, maybe you should just let him go. It’ll break your heart and it won’t be easy, I’m sure, but maybe it’ll feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders? The pressure of trying to hold together something that feels like it’s falling apart can break you down. Maybe it’s time to let go – not for him, but for you.

    This may be misquoted but: “One day someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else.”

    (sorry about the novel of a comment – this post just really speaks to me.)

    • Also, my mom was a low-income single mom of four girls and she DID meet someone amazing that fit into her life perfectly. They just celebrated their 15th wedding anniversary.
      🙂
      Gives me hope.

    • I appreciate your comments. I know that I need to take control of where my life is going. I also know that sometimes, Alex gets in these funks. Usually, it only takes a few days and he comes back around. I guess it is the optimist in me that says it will work out. We just need to get past the issues that seem to be in our way.

Don't bite your tongue...talk to me

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