What will it take??


Sorry for not keeping you updated. The last few weeks has been a whirlwind. So many things have happened in my life and with having no computer, it is really hard to keep you updated.

Alex and I are back at the same spot we were before. A1 and A2 still want me to come over. We talked to them and let them know that Alex talked to me about how they feel and it is okay. I am not mad or hurt by their feelings, I understand. The girls even invited me to spend Thanksgiving with them since I will not have my kids. However, tonight A2 said that it is not still okay with her for me to spend Thanksgiving with them. I told her that it was okay and to let me know if she changes her mind.

Last Monday (October 22), KD called me after work to tell me that #4 hit her head and he was headed to the emergency room with her. I met him at the ER. He told me that she was flopping around on the couch and she hit her head on a shelf next to the couch. She is a very active three-year-old so it was a believable story. #4 ended up with three staples to seal the wound and protect it from infection.

When I left the hospital with the kids, I was on the phone with BFF telling her what had happened and one of the older kids informed me that it was not #4’s fault that she hit her head. They told me it was KD’s fault. I asked what happened. They told me that he flopped her on the couch. I asked them if he was upset or if he was playing around with her. They told me that he was upset with her. After they went to bed that night, I called CPS and made a report. It was my week so I just took the next day off of work so that I did not have to take her over there.

I left a message with the supervisor that the case was assigned to on Tuesday and Wednesday. Finally, I called the front desk of our local CPS office. Some surprise, it was assigned to the same social worker. She said that she had to wait to hear from law enforcement to do anything, but she would like to see #4. When I got to her office, she informed me that she had talked to law enforcement. They were going to investigate it and were requesting that KD not be unsupervised with the children. I proceeded to file an ex parte restraining order against KD. It was granted.

Unfortunately, KD’s attorney fought it and had it overturned less than a week later, but it did serve the purpose of giving law enforcement time to interview all four of the kids. The conclusion was that yes, the injury to #4 was KD’s fault, but they could not prove that there was any intent on his part to hurt her. They also confirmed that the previous report I had made about #1 was in fact the truth.

CPS is sending in a parenting specialist to work with both of us because they have concerns about KD’s parenting. Since we have had prior contact with CPS, they are having the lady work with me for a little while also. They are requiring us both to go to individual counseling and keep the kids in counseling. However, they have no reason to take the kids out of KD’s care. They did acknowledge the fact that this is the third head injury that he has been identified as the perpetrator. I said that it does not give my fourth kid very good odds.

I feel so helpless. I cannot even protect my kids. What did this teach them? Opening up to adults does not do them any good. Daddy can get away with hurting them all he wants. Now that he knows they opened up, he has probably put the fear of God into them.

I talked to the detective today and he was finishing up his report, but could not prove intent. He said he was going to talk to the prosecutor and see if there was anything that they could do. The good thing is that the prosecutor is the same prosecutor that tried to nail him to the wall in the case involving #2 when he was a toddler.

I was granted a one week leave of absence from work to deal with it. Unfortunately, all the time I had to take off killed my paycheck. My van was repossessed on Friday. I ended up buying a $600 car over the weekend, but have no money to switch it into my name and register it, or pay my rent tomorrow. I did apply for a loan through my bank today and they were supposed to call me before they closed today, but I did not hear anything. I will call them tomorrow. I sat down and figured out what I need to get through the next six months and get me to a point that I can make it every month. I figured that I need about $650 before Monday. However, at a 16% interest rate, I could have it paid off by May 15 with 6 payments.

Monday (November 5) is our presentment for the final papers. This means that in theory, I should be divorced by the end of the day on Monday. I will have been married for 10 years and 363 days.

I worry for my kids because I know what it is like to feel like no one will believe you if you tell them what is going on. KD is good at playing the part in public, but when they are home alone…it is a different story. I did tell the social worker today that if anything happens to one of my children in his care, I will sue the state of Washington. I want to know how bad it has to be before they will protect my kids form him.

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One thought on “What will it take??

  1. Hello, my name is Barefoot Baroness and I am co-administrator for the missing children and persons blog Bring Them Home. I am also in m my non-cyber life a CASA. Court Appointed Special Advocate for children who are part of a family court system and case\.
    By just the nature of the restraining order this should qualify your children. But there is more.

    I am so sorry that you are having to deal with all this.
    I of course am not privy to the jurisdiction you live in but the CASA program in country wide. I am familiar with the vernacular CPS and this gives some reason to think we may live in a nearby part of the country where I know the program is strong.
    http://www.casaforchildren.org/site/c.mtJSJ7MPIsE/b.5301303/k.6FB1/About_Us__CASA_for_Children.htm

    Good luck with all you do to keep you & your children safe. ~ BB

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