Alex and I finally made a decision. We are going to back up our relationship some. Not sure how far back, but we are still dating exclusively. I am hoping that it will give him a chance to concentrate on him, his girls, and school. Maybe it will give me a chance to find more of who I am. Not sure how I feel about this decision. I already miss him, but I missed him anyways. We will figure this out. At lease we can ease into friendship if that is all we can be right now.
I am going to join a Divorce Care group put on by the counselor. It is a two hour session every Sunday. Maybe I can work on who I am and figure out what I want from me. I am also going to put more effort into looking for a better job.
This week is one year from when Alex came into my life. I do not know where I would be without him in my life. He has such a big impact and played such a big part in my life over this year. He has been there for me more than anyone else and constantly giving more than he had to give. No matter what he thinks right now, he is far from having failed me. I know I am a lot to handle. We will work together and figure this out. We just have to decide what we want for ourselves and make decisions based on that. The kids will all be fine, especially if we find a way to stay friends.