Sometimes I wonder if Alex is right. I will never get out of this financial rut I am in. Found out on Tuesday that my van is up for repossession and the only way to hold them off is pay them exactly the amount my paycheck will be. I can’t do that because I still have to pay the rest of August’s rent, pay my mom for my cell phone, and still function for two weeks. I do not know what to do about it. I am thinking about trying to talk to my grandmother, but that never does me any good.
I have been awake for 18 hours and worked 11 of them. I am tired, but I am wide awake. I am starting to get nervous about tomorrow. We have the settlement meeting at 9:00, pick up #1’s middle school schedule at 11:45, #1’s middle school orientation and BBQ from 12:00-2:00, and my deposition at 3:00. I should be sleeping. I can’t.
I really want Alex to hold me, but he crawled in bed rolled away from me and asked if I was going to cuddle him. I did, until he fell asleep. Now I am laying here, typing on my phone, and trying not to cry.