Where is the protection?

A Crane for Each Child; Students Seek End to C...

A Crane for Each Child; Students Seek End to Child Abuse (Photo credit: ct senatedems)

On my way to take the kids to KD on Monday morning, #1 told me something that bothered me, and #2 was willing to back her up on it. She told me that when she gets upset with KD or one of her siblings, she walks to her room and lays on her bed. In reality, she stomps to her room and throws herself on the bed, I have seen her do it before. I think it is okay because at least she is learning that it is better to walk away than to yell, scream, and fight. What she told me was that when she does this, KD follows her to her room, grabs her by the hair and slams her head repeatedly into the bed. First words out of my mouth were to tell the counselor. She said no. Then said, “Please don’t tell Dad I told you.” Then, #2 said that if she doesn’t tell the counselor, he will. I debated about what to do with this information.

Yesterday, I decided that I needed to call the CPS social worker, but she called me first. She was calling me to find out what the kids’ schedule is so that they can do their health and safety check in order to close the case from when I went to jail. I took this as a good time to tell her what was going on. I know how it looks to them. They are looking at this as a custodial issue. She told me to call the intake line. I did. I also called the kids’ counselor to let her know what was going on.

I do not know exactly what I expected to happen, but I surely did not expect the social worker to call me today and tell me that they were not going to open a new investigation into it. They will, however, talk to #1 alone when they do their health and safety checks. She had the nerve to tell me that I had more power in this situation than she did. Basically, despite the history, since KD is not dumb enough to leave marks and #1 is too scared to talk, there is nothing that can be done. I, however, guarantee, that I will report everything those kids tell me. I will also continue to push them to talk to the counselor. I just hope that the kids start to realize that no one can help them if they do not speak up.

I told the social worker that I am outraged, not just as #1’s mom, but as a community member. I cannot use what my children say to me because they are not yet 18. If I report it, it looks like a custodial issue. If I don’t report it, it is neglect. I cannot get my kids to open up to a professional because they are scared. What am I supposed to do to protect my kids?? The courts won’t help me. The state won’t help me. How am I supposed to protect these kids??


6 thoughts on “Where is the protection?

  1. It’s so hard when you want to do the best for your children and there seems to be nothing but road blocks in the way. You are doing the right thing by making yourself available to listen to your children and reporting your concerns to those who need to know. I wonder if you have brought your concerns to KD. I know your child doesn’t want you to tell him, but there is nothing worse than keeping secrets in these situations. Best of luck to you.

    • I haven’t talked to KD about it and I won’t. For one, it will break the trust #1 has in me. For two, she doesn’t want me to say anything because she is scared of how he will react.

  2. Agreed, talking to the abuser won’t help and may make it worse. Would your daughter be willing to talk to someone at her school? They would be required to file a report about it and can’t be accused of having an stake in a custody dispute.

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