What if????

I have been so sick the last two days. Nausea, puking, tired, hot, cold… So far my cycle is three days late, but I had a tubal and Alex had a vasectomy so that’s not really a concern. Not that the idea hasn’t crossed my mind, but it’s not realistic. Besides, we already have six between us, like we need another.

I just worry about what else it might be. I am very regular. 28, maybe 29 days. Called my midwife’s office, they said call in another week if I still haven’t started. Called my PCP, they said wait until I am two weeks late.

The funny thing is that if I was pregnant, I would be due April 1. Ironic for two reasons. First being that it would be April Fools and neither of us should be able to have any more. Second being that it would be one year to the day that I left KD.

I know I am rambling, but like I said, I don’t feel good. I have been out of it all day. I am just hoping I feel better work tomorrow.

I love Alex. The look in his eyes when he looks at me, even when I feel like crap. The feel of his touch. The sound of his voice. His love for his girls. His dedication. The way he smells.

Almost time for bed before I ramble more.