Both ends of the Spectrum


What a freaking week!! It has been both ends of the spectrum. The good news is that I now have the kids every other week. KD is their child care while I am at work. I still have to pay child support, but I am thinking about it in a positive light, I am only paying $100 per month for full-time childcare for four kids. I also get the kids one day of his first weekend of the month. I get to get my stuff on this Saturday from the house.

However, KD is being ridiculous. He refuses to let the kids bring anything to the apartment. Last night, he didn’t even send clothes for the boys. I asked specifically for a pair of tights for #4, he told me to talk to his attorney. THen, he was fighting with #1 because she wanted to bring her stuffed animal that she has had and slept with since whe was 2 1/2. Really??

So, in the process of trying to find the boys clothes for school, I called or texted anyone and everyone that I could think of that might be able to help. The last person I texted was my cousin/ex. He told me that he would see what he could do. Then, instead of texting me back, he just showed up. I ran to the store and grabbed a few things. I tried to call Alex to let him know that my cousin was going to help me out, but it went straight to voicemail. Well, I was so wrapped up in hurrying because it was 9:00 at night, that I didn’t send Alex a text about it until I got home. Somewhere between my phone and his, the texts were getting messed up and so he was receiving them in a different timeline than I was sending them and I was getting his in a different timeline than he was sending them. He thinks that I was purposefully hiding the fact that it was my cousin helping me. Alex even turned his phone off last night so that I could not call him. He still will not talk to me. I have no idea where we stand.

I have no idea what to do about Alex. I have no desire to be in a relationship that I am not trusted in. I love him, but I have not done anything that deserves me not to be trusted. At that moment, my kids were number one on my mind, just as they should be. One minute, he wants me to not need him, but then when I find other resources, he gets mad at me. I am so confused at what he wants from me. We both knew this was going to be rough. We both have trust issues and we both have high stress levels. We just need to talk to each other and have faith in the other person enough to know that when if a day comes when one of us wants to leave the relationship, we will tell the other one.

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