I feel so alone. I am trying to remember that I have friends, but everyone is tired of listening to me. I feel like I don’t have anyone. I know I sound like a broken record, but I just need someone to listen to me long enough for me to actually get the tears out that seem to be hanging out ready to fall at anytime. They always seem to want to fall when I am in a position that I cannot cry and by the time I am in a position to cry, they are hiding again.
I am so afraid about my feelings for Alex. I love him, but I am afraid that he will realize that I am not that great and not worth the added stress I bring to his life. We are both struggling this month and it had been hard for either of us to “be there” for the other one. I think we are both feeling alone, afraid to be hurt, and scared to talk to the other one.
I know that this is all going to get harder before it gets easier, but I am tired of hard. For once, I want things in my life to go my way.
I don’t understand how KD can treat me the way he does. For someone who claimed to love me so much for so long, it sure has been easy for him to try to hurt me. Why can’t he see what this is all doing to our kids?