Where we are now

I just do not understand how someone who supposedly loved me can do so much to purposefully try to hurt me. KD just seems like all he is thinking about is how to get back at me. For someone who claims to have the kids’ best interests at heart, he sure does do some ridiculous things. I had the kids’ pictures taken about a month ago. When he got home tonight, I gave him a wallet and a 5X7 and told him that I would mail one to his mom so those were his to keep. He did not even say thank you. Seriously???

Alex is so opposite from KD. I just wish Alex would trust me. I wish there was something I could say or do to convince him to enjoy what we have instead of worrying about how and when it may go wrong. I understand where he is coming from, but sometimes it is so frustrating.

Somedays I wonder if I will ever meet his girls. I know and understand his reasons. I know their mother is being fairly civil and he wants to keep it that way. I know that the girls need time to heal from the divorce. I just wish…

With the way our current schedules are, we already don’t see each other. I just worry that we will begin to grow apart. I worry that he will find someone else without so much baggage. Someone who isn’t so…me.

I did not intend or expect to fall in love with Alex, but I have. I just wonder if we will ever get beyond where we are right now.

My kids seem to really like Alex. They are always asking when he is coming over next. My grandparents love him. They told me not to let go of this one. I told them I don’t plan on it.


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