Why am I not surprised?


How can you love someone so much for so long and hate them so easily? I thought I would always love KD. After all, he was my first love and the father of my children. However, I feel like now I never really knew him. Everyday he reminds me not only why I left him, but why it took me so long to leave him.
Today was supposed to be day one of my first full weekend with the kids including overnights. I got a text from KD telling me that I didn’t get the kids. I showed up at the appointed time with a copy of the court order in hand and he still didn’t answer the door. I am trying to be calm and collected and remind myself that he is just digging himself a hole with the court and his kids, but it is hard. I told the kids I would be there this weekend. I was supposed to make cupcakes with #1 for a school fundraiser. I hope they saw me at the house.
Alex is in his own world dealing with school and the mother of his girls so that doesn’t help much. I just feel alone.

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