I’m not sure where to begin today. Hubby and I went to marriage counseling again this week. I made it clear to him and the therapist that I am only there for the communication because no matter what, we have to get along. I also made it clear that I am only in this marriage until CPS is out.

Last night, I told Hubby about Alex. He asked me if there was anything going on and I said yes. For starters, he already knew in his heart. For second, he will find out eventually. For third, I kept thinking about how upset Alex has been over “knowing” that his wife was seeing someone but her not confirming it. Hubby is upset. Said he already forgave me because he has been preparing himself for it. He doesn’t want me to have any contact with Alex except for by phone and text and not around him. I told him I could not promise that.

Today, I told my mom about Alex. She asked me one question and told me she already knew the answer but wanted to hear me say it. “Does he make you happy?” I told her yes and she said she could see it in my face. Then she asked when she could meet him.

I am trying to get a hold of the social worker so that I can find out what the consequences are if Hubby and I split. I am going to make a consultation appointment with Lawyer to see what she says and see what ideas she has.

I am scared that Alex will get tired of waiting on me. I already fell in love with him. He does make me happy and I like being happy. I know none of it will be easy, but I’m willing to give it a fair chance.