Quick update

First off, I want to apologize for not keeping up to date lately. It has been a lot harder for me to have the time to blog. Between being back at work, dealing with Hubby and kids, and always being watched by Hubby, I just haven’t been able to do it. I have thought about it, but I just have not know what to say.

I feel so overwhelmed and confused. On one level, I am done with Hubby. On another level, I am scared about what will happen if I leave him. On a completely different level, there is Alex.

Hubby and I were fighting again last night. I tried to walk away from him, but he kept blocking me from going downstairs and following me if I went anywhere else. I was in the bed listening to my music and he tried to take my phone from me. When we were upstairs, I tried to grab the home phone to call my mom so someone could hear, but he ripped it out of my hands.

We have been having more problems with all three of the older kids. #1 has been throwing fits over everything. I know part of that is being 10 an dealing with the girls at school, but part of it is all of the stuff going on with Hubby and I. #2 has had more of his outbursts. In fact, he had one of them at the dentist yesterday. He was supposed to have an impression and 4 extractions, but when they finished the impression, he refused to let them continue because it hurt.
#3 is starting to behave like #1 & #2 and that is upsetting to me because he is not usually that angry. I know that they are all scared, so am I.

I did ask the pediatrician’s office about a counselor and they referred me to one. #1 informed me that she doesn’t want to talk to one because he life is none of a stranger’s business.