I do not know what to think anymore. Do I just continue with my life as it is and pretend I am happy as I have for years? Or do I make a new life for myself and my kids? I do not want to tear their world apart, but I do not want to live unhappy forever.
Alex’s wife finally opened her eyes and wants to work on their relationship. I am happy for him, I really am. I just do not know where that leaves our friendship. That was the last text I got from him, about two hours ago. I have sent him a couple. The last one I sent was that I am happy for him and I am here if he needs me, but I was not going to text him until I hear from him. I want his happiness and I know that he wants more than anything for his marriage to work and his family to stay together. I told him the other night that I can handle being only his friend, but I will need some time and distance to pull my heart back in.
Hubby is kissing up a great deal, but I am wary of how long it will last. He still puts in the little barbs to remind me who is in charge in this relationship. I am afraid to leave because I have no where to go and no money to get into my own place.
Tonight we went to a live drive-thru Nativity scene. I was not into it. I am not into this holiday this year
Time for bed.