This is why I wait to post until night…

Because inevitably, something will happen and I will need to write again.

I have spent the last hour trying to take my mind off the fact that Alex stopped texting in mid-conversation again. I’ve tried painting #1’s fingernails, taking a bath, playing games on my phone, sending emails…as soon as I get out of the bath, I am going to fold some laundry and maybe go to bed.

Today, I realized how attached I already am to Alex. He sent me a series of texts that said were done, not you me, and then something about only growing farther apart. My heart dropped. I called him because I was really confused. What had happened in the last half hour that changed his mind? He apologized. He missed a word when he was texting. He was talking about him and his wife. (Enter sigh of relief here)

I am done with Hubby. The marriage counselor is right, my heart is not in it. I do not believe that any changes will be lasting and I cannot live like this anymore.

Started #3 on the Melatonin tonight, seems to have helped. An hour after I gave it to him, he was ready for bed. #2 has been a stinker lately. I know the kids can feel the tension and I feel bad for them. That is why I am trying to play nice through the holidays. I want to be civil anyways, but I do not think Hubby will go for it.



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