In my effort to take “me time” instead of ask for it, I told Hubby I was going out after the kids went out last night. He told me that we did not have the gas for that, and I responded that I had a ride. I called my best friend and she picked me up. We walked the local mall and stopped to visit with another friend of ours. It was nice. I was even home by like 10:30.
Before I left, Hubby told me that he would call his mom to call an attorney if I went out last night. I told him to go ahead. I am not playing his stupid games anymore. I cannot do it. I will always love him, he was my first love and is the father of my children. However, I will not live like this for the rest of my life.
Tonight, I told my mom that I do not think Hubby thinks I am serious. She thinks he does.
I spent an hour with Alex today. I am so glad that we have not been able to get much more than that because I think we would cross a line that we should not cross. No matter how much we would both like to, I do not want to start anything that way. I feel like I can relax when I am with him. When we are not together, I worry about his stress level and wish I could make his life less stressed. I think that I am falling for him and that scares me. What if one of our marriages actually works out? The other one will be heart broken. What if we do get together and it does not work out? I would hate to lose the friend that I have found in him. I think that if we have the chance, it could work out.
He sent me this picture today and a text that read “Hopefully its not catch and release.” I feel the same way.
Oh, and I am only 31 pounds from my goal weight!!