Fighting or Pretending??


Friendship

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Which is worse fighting or acting like nothing is wrong? I hate it when he acts like nothing has happened. Then, I feel guilty for knowing that something is wrong. That is mostly how today has been. We did fight some, but I could not tell what it was about because we have fought so much over the last few days about so many different things. I am at the point that I just do not want to fight anymore. Alex told me today that I need to talk to Hubby because otherwise it will fester. I know that, but I am just tired of fighting.

Just last night, Alex texted me. When Hubby asked who it was, I told him it was one of the guys from my group at school. He freaked out on me because I gave out my cell phone number. Really? What he does not realize is that for the first time in a long time, I feel like I have someone I can talk to.

Alex suggested that I talk to a counselor. In fact, he even suggested one. I have considered it, except that I do not have time to talk to a counselor. I already get yelled at when I have class or work. I should talk to my doctor about the fact that I think I am depressed, but the last time I went to the doctor, her new nurse was a lady from church. That is the last thing I need.

A point was brought up to me today…if God is up there, why does he let us all suffer so long? I know all the usual arguments about sin, free will, and choice…but I just do not understand. He is supposed to be such a loving God. I know I would never allow my children to suffer if I could end it. Why does God let His children suffer?

Part of the reason that I put up with all of this is because I do not want my children to have to put up with us being divorced. On the other hand, I know it is not fair to make my children put up with the fighting and the tension. I am lost as to what to do. I wish that someone would just tell me what to do.

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Don't bite your tongue...talk to me

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