Girls are MEAN


Image by jcoterhals via Flickr

I forgot how mean girls can be during the school years. #1 has been having a hard time with a couple of girls at school and I have no idea how to help her. I did promise her that I will make sure we have some time every week just to talk, just the two of us. I want her to be able to come to me when there is a problem. I can tell you that tonight I had no wise words for my daughter. I was happy to have her choosing to talk to me. #1 has always had a hard time making friends. She is usually the one who makes friends with the new girls until someone else wants to be friends with the girl.

This year, one of the little girls she befriended has a some serious baggage. The girl is adopted and decided to share the why with #1. This little girl was abandoned by her parents when she was in the first grade. I found out today that she was also bullied at her last school because of the clothes that she wore. Luckily, #1 and I have already discussed the fact that it does not matter what the other girls think about her clothes. She has been trying to explain this to her friend with no luck. Whenever #1 and this little girl get into a disagreement, the little girl says, “You don’t know what I’ve been through.” Seriously?? This is not going to get better any time soon.

I do have to say that my daughter received a book in the mail today, A Girl After God‘s Own Heart by Elizabeth George. It was a gift from her Great Grandpa that we were not expecting, but it did have great timing. She wants to read it because she wants to see if it will help her with her friendship. I love her.


3 thoughts on “Girls are MEAN

  1. My oldest daughter is in 8th grade. She struggled for a long time relating to the other girls in her class because she was the “nice” girl too. 5th thru-7th grade were horrible. Keeping communication open is key but the other thing that we did was put her in counseling to talk about peer pressure and learn how to be more confident in social situations. It was the best decision I think we made. It gave her a “safe” place to talk without worrying what mom and dad think. 8th grade has been a breeze. She has a great group of friends and almost no girl drama. She is more confident. I can also tell you that you can’t wait for her to initiate “play dates” either. Every week I encouraged her to invite a friend or two over to hang out or spend the night and pretty soon she found her niche. Here is one more piece of advice, although I know you didn’t really ask, get her involved in programs that promote self-esteem and leadership. I volunteer coach for a leadership and fitness program called Girls on the Run. That has been an amazing blessing to both of my daughters. They are also involved in team sports which promotes community and respect. Good luck! You are doing a great job. This parenting thing is hard work, but rewarding.

  2. Thanks for the pingback- I’m glad you liked my article. It’s just a tough age… and I think being affirming and reassuring that things will not always be so bad is the best thing to do. Tell your daughter to hang in there! xo

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