Just a Little Less Stressed


Image via Wikipedia

Well, we were granted a two month forbearance on the house!!! During this time, we will be making two half payments and providing the mortgage company with another set of pay stubs. Hopefully, they will be able to come to a reasonable conclusion as far as after this two months. Thank you to those of you who have been pulling for us!

Hubby and I have been at each other’s throats all week. I am not sure that I can take it anymore. It feels as though we are constantly at each other’s throats all the time. I told him the other night that I cannot go on like this anymore. Before we got married, we agreed that our children would be better with us apart and getting along than together and always fighting. I reminded him of that. I love him, but I have not been attracted to him for a while. I really wish that I knew why for certain. I know that part of it was his weight gain, part of it is the fighting, part of it is how much I feel alone, and part of it is me not feeling attractive.

#1 is supposed to have her room clean by tomorrow, or she does not get to go to her grandmother’s house. I told her this two weeks ago, but when I reminded her of this today, she threw a conniption fit. If she would just clean her room instead of asking if she can do different things, she would have a great deal more done. For once my MIL is behind me on this deceision!

I finally got an answer from CC about what he wants. He told me something about being unable to keep someone happy long term. I think that is his way of nicely reminding me that he does not want to deal with my baggage. I know it sounds cynical, but that is what I believe. He has been one of my best friends over the last year or so. I hope that it stays that way, but I really wish it could turn into something more. I think another part of the problem is that he has had too many failed relationships and that has taken a toll on his faith in himself. I just do not know what to do about my feelings about him. I feel like I can talk to him about anything at anytime. I think that he has backed off a little bit from me since I blogged about him the other day. I want to see him, but I am afraid of one of us getting hurt. I have thought about just leaving him alone. Maybe I should just stop texting him and leave the initiation to him. I just feel like I am bothering him sometimes.


2 thoughts on “Just a Little Less Stressed

  1. I hear the pain laced in your words and believe me…I can relate. Most married people can. And those who claim they can not are liers.

    Hang in there and I do wish you all the best!

Comments are closed.